Do you remeber the very first time you swam? Do you remember the first thing you learnt in swimming lessons? What about the first thing you were taught in kindergarten? The first skill at your first job? The first step you took down the isle?
Nope.
Probably not.
It's Ironic.. isn't it? That we journey this life... and each "journey" starts with the first step... and by the time we get to the end line of the said journey... we forget the first steps we took... the first thoughts... moments.. tears.. joys... they flash by us.
Here we are.. at the begining of a journey we've taken far too many times.
The hurt of losing Sophia is still fresh, but the promise of life is so profound in our thoughts and God's words that our focus isn't there. We miss her. We love her. How I wish I could change where she is, but no. I would not change a thing. Our family has grown stronger, and we have faith we never had.. never knew existed.
Somedays.. nothing makes sense.. and everything seems hard, even breathing takes effort.. but somedays, like today... everything makes perfect sense.
Watching Brice play in the bath with a HUGE smile.. and all I can think of is how lucky he is. How blessed he is to have family who loves him, and a sister and siblings watching his every move. It's funny the things we take for granted. Nothing like blowing bubbles in a bath tub with a toddler to make "life".. seem so much less, and so much more than what we pretend to think it is.
Bubbles.
I think Bubbles were the first thing I was taught in swimming.. to blow AIR into a place where air was never meant to be... under water. To trust that god would make those bubles.. instead of allow water to rush into my mouth and nose... and I'm certain I feared the first time I tried... but once I did... I'm sure I laughed. The same way my two year old laughs at the bubbles he is now blowing into a place air should never be.
Maybe.. Maybe once or twice the water will flow in.. and he will spit it out.. be confused as why, scared to try again.. but he will try.. and succeed.
Babies are sort of like bubbles.
They might happen for us in the future, or they might not.
We might choke on a few more disapointing losses.. but we will keep trying.
We weren't MEANT to walk this earth... to experience pain.. but yet we are here.
I have faith.. that all of us.. at least once, can experience the joys of bubbles.
Greetings Kristina! Great post! My name is Heather and I was hoping you could answer a quick question about your blog! My email is Lifesabanquet1(at)gmail.com
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