Why we are NOT buying our Kid's... a lot of presents.

Why We are NOT Buying our Kids, a lot of presents.

O kay. I realize this is HUGELY off topic for my blog, but really... it's not.

This blog is my way of outlying my emotions, and tracking where I've been in life, and also hope for the future.

The future, involves my children's well being.

THEIR well being, includes our daily lives.

On facebook, I've seen multiple people sharing this lovely post...http://www.Why I'm buying My Children a LOT of presents which inspired my rebuttal post.

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Yes... I realize I'm supporting family growth, and being a smart consumer... but I'm also advertising love. More than that, I hope this post will inspire you, to make a simple change in your home this Christmas.

Get ready for your... well known Kristina sarcasm.

All year long, I say Yes.

Yes, we can definitely save for that toy you want, chores and good behavior and it's yours!

Sure, you can have another cookie... as long as you try to eat a new vegetable, or finish your dinner.

You want some of my pie? Definitely. We can share.

I never realized it, but saying Yes as a parent, is almost as fulfilling as hearing yes as a child. Sure, we can play batman... YES we can go to the park. No, we cannot do that now, but yes we can later... and my favorite, YES you can do anything you want today... today is YOUR day. (Birthdays!)

What's amazing about saying yes, is that it allows us the chance to love our kids, and let them know that we are letting them make their choices... not us. Yes, there are boundaries... but my husband puts it very eloquently to our six year old son...

"We are NOT your boss. YOU are your own boss. However, in this house, there are rules we have to follow so that everyone is safe and healthy. If you break a rule, there will be a consequence, and that is your choice to make. No matter what you do, we love you, just like God will always love you."

POWERFUL. One of the biggest things we want to do, is raise our children up to make their own choices... but remember that GOD is always there for them. We have 18 years before throwing them out in the real world, and crossing our fingers that they remember that even in hard times they are LOVED.

We spend all year teaching love. What real love looks like. It's full of responsibility, time restraints, not getting everything we want, but always getting what we need. It's full of devotions, mommy and daddy time, growth both physically and spiritually, and learning how to be a part of our family... And although we say no quite often, we get to say YES more.

You see... I only have so long where I can say yes and instill values, before they grow up, go off to college, and the real magic of a family is gone... until they make their own family. And, I hope when they do... they can make every day magical, because YES is the easiest thing to do. No, that doesn't mean my kids get everything they want, as I said... it means they get to experience GROWTH. That's pretty cool.

For my oldest first Christmas I bought EVERY toy on the market. The ones that play music, have millions of pieces... the ones that were high end, and the $5 Walgreen's brand that just was THERE. I thought of all the ways he'd learn from these toys... to my disappointment... the wrapping paper and boxes were the biggest hit. It was a sad realization that he wouldn't love everything I could give him... but, it was a sweet reminder he had everything he needed.

You see, in this culture of consumerism... it's easy to get swept up in the "new and improved" everything.

Remember that bible saying... "Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.... but teach a man to fish..." you get it. Christmas isn't a time to give my children all of the worldly desires of our modern age... it's a time to.... well... teach them how to fish. LITERALLY. Give them the building blocks for being a good christian, teach them how to give unto others, and, help them to remember the meaning of Christmas.. so someday... their children get it... and their friends get it. It's not about who has the most princess dolls, or glittery things... it's about who's heart is really IN the Christmas spirit.

I realize you all are probably shaking your head... and if you aren't a Christian, I get it. Christmas IS for you a time to rottenly spoil the bejeebies out of everyone you love. Rock on. Your showing them you love them... but this post is for you Christian folk who are blind sighted by these... temptations and standards and neighbors who....

MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT WHO HAS MORE.

You want to know the truth?

My Christmas's were ridiculous. RIDICULOUS. Christmas Eve we went to my grandma Marilyn's home, and eat lefsa and baked meatballs, and play pool and Monopoly to pass the time to opening presents. EVERY Single year, my cousin Joey had his presents from his parents, as they would leave for Montana that night/morning. We did the, each person takes a turn opening a present... which lasted 2 rounds... and then BAM. Free for all. Within an hour, everyone was ooing, and awwing over the presents they got... except him. He was still going. When we were done, I don't think I even remembered what all I had gotten, or who had given me what... but I can still remember the things that happened after. When we all opened one of our gifts to play with, I got the "I got SOO many cool things, and you just got a stupid doll." It was ridiculous. Suddenly, every Christmas was a competition between him and I... who got the best gift. I remember DISTINCTIVELY winning one year... he was pissed. I don't remember what I got. I didn't care.. I just wanted to WIN. (SO stupid.) After we left my grandmas, we went to my cousins to watch THEM open their gifts, them back to our house.. where some years I opened my gifts... others we waited until the following day, when we returned home from Christmas breakfast at my Aunts, and opening gifts there.

My parents hated this. The obligations, the time we didn't have as a family... and to be honest... the magic wasn't in the presents.

My memories of Christmas, are the years we went or were in the play at church. The small village below my Aunts tree (NO Small village... it was a HUGE monstrosity with skating figures, a train that went round, and I'm sure a ton of time... it was beautiful.) Making cookies with my grandma, talking with my aunts as we did dishes, and playing pool with my cousins. As I grew older, my Aunt started a tradition of reading a different religious Christmas book, and reading passages from the bible. She also did treasure hunts every year for us. That... is what made Christmas magic.

Now, my kids will still unwrap things. Pajamas and a new DVD Christmas eve, along with tubs of popcorn, and a box with candy canes, marshmallows, and hot cocoa. They will still get stockings from Santa, filled with toothbrushes, candy that they won't eat, oranges, small cars, socks for Christmas day, and some other things we've picked up that they might actually give a darn about. They will also, undoubtedly, have gifts from friends, grandparents and other family members.

You know what my kids will remember? Baking cookies and giving them to friends... passing out small candy canes to random strangers and school friends. Reading the bible on Christmas morning, and praying. Making Christmas Breakfast, and Dinner. Calling loved ones to say thank you (as we are very far from our families, Military and all). Helping where they can in our community after Christmas, when most forget they still need assistance. Giving toys they don't use or want to children in need. Dancing to Christmas music as we trim the tree, and clean up the wrapping paper.

This year, we have decided that after losing Sophia, we needed a family vacation. This year, will be more magical than others, because we will be eating dinner with Santa on Christmas eve. We will be learning and exploring Christmas traditions of years past, and seeing lights like never before.

You see... I spend all year saying YES. This time of the year, is the perfect time to say NO. No, we will not spoil our children rotten. NO, we will not use their behavior as an excuse on how many gifts they receive, NO. No. We will not buy into the idea that buying gifts brings some sort of magic... and that being a parent means that you have to deprive your child of a simple YES. We are not millionaires... but I can promise you this. If we were, the only thing that would change about our Christmas, is that we would fly home to family every year, and adopt as many angel tree families as possible.

I'm sorry, but I can buy my kids every single toy on the market, wrap it up, and watch them go WILD. That, to me, doesn't sound like magic. It sounds overwhelming, overstimulating, confusing, and most of all.... un-needed.

As for me and my house, we will chose to serve our Lord. And that means serving our family, and our community... not the pockets of big business.