We started this process a week ago, and now we finally have it down to the BIG furniture items.. everything else is put away temporarily.. until we figure out where we are storing them.
Today, because of this, was the hardest day. Looking at that room with blank walls, and none of her items in it, made my heart ache for her. I woke up sad, and I think it just carried on throughout the day, and putting the last bits away, just hurt.
It hurts that I won't ever get to do the things I planned with her. I know I will get to do things much better with he later, but right now... I don't WANT to wait.. I just want her home, here, with us.
It's such an emotional rollercoaster.. one day I'm beyond happy.. happy she's home with god, and safe, and so loved.. and then other days I run through everything in my mind and question my choices, and let the lies seep in, and I just break.
So. Today, the vlog isn't going up. Technical issues on top of this day.. it's just difficult to put it together.
Tomorrow my mom flies in from Washington, and we are OH so excited for that, and we will have a ton of Vlogs on our daily lives the next two weeks. As for tonight.. I'm going to put it down, try to get SOME sort of sleep, and hope that tomorrow I wake up rememebering all of the blessing she has given us, instead of the lack of time we had here.
I miss her oh so much. It still just doesn't seem like something that should ever happen.
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