THE BIG Living children mother/Angel mother DEBATE.

Whew. This one is going to get a bit steamy.

I'm COMPLETELY new to the realm of angel "mothering"... even though I'm NOT a new angel mom. Full term angel mom???  NEW. But, that is besides the point.

Today.. I found a very SHOCKING post on facebook.. from someone who makes these "graphics" for angel moms, and posts stillbirth info. (To be completely honest.. I'm not a fan of the graphics.. they just don't help me grieve... i guess??? BUT I do support the fact that they do help some mothers grieve)
The post contained a message from a member of her page... that she recieved after posting graphics containing the phrase
"While your baby learns to walk, mine learns to fly" Or something similar.
The mom, who is NOT an angel mom but has friends who are... was offended by this.
I've seen this more and more... mothers who haven't experienced a LOSS judgeing angel moms.. and, coincidentally... Angel moms JUDGEING moms who've never experienced a loss.
So here goes.
I am BOTH an angel mother and a living child mother.. so take this ENTIRELY with the fact that I'm on both sides.. and this is my assesment from what I've seen/experienced. It's not study... It's not fact.. it just IS what it is.

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Angel moms have EVERY right to post whatever they FEEL necisarry to include their angel in their daily lives.

Living children moms have EVERY right to post whatever they feel to include their LIVING children in their lives.

There is this button where you can delete/block/ignore posts or people entirely. I suggest you get used to using it if you cannot stand posts from the other side.
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Living children moms SHOULD be aware that angel moms are very sensitive about their babies.. we tend to feel guilty, volnurable, and very very protective of the memories we have of our precious angels.

Angel moms SHOULD be aware that living children moms are very sensitive about their children... we tend to over-think things, feel volnurable, and be very very protective of how we do what we do for our kids.

That being said, It can easily make a living chilren mom very ANXIOUS to speak to an angel mom about her kids... it's scary stuff. You don't want to bring up bad memories, make rash comments accidentaly... Angel moms don't want to make Living children moms uncomfortable either.. I can tell you with honesty.. that the HARDEST part for this entire experience for me... is watching moms who have NEVER lost... watching their faces when I tell them the news (my neighbor asked me just yesterday If I had my baby, and if it was a boy or girl... I had to confidentally tell her, it really is Okay.. we are really Okay... shes in a MUCH better place.. though we miss her terribly)
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There is never going to be a safe ground for this kind of thing. There just isn't. Your going to step on toes, say the wrong thing, and make enemies as you make friends... but here is what I really want you to take away from this.

DON'T BE AFRAID OF STEPPING ON THOSE TOES.

Sometimes.. you need your toes stepped on to learn that your NOT standing in the best of places. Sometimes you need to be pushed out of your comfort zone.. to see what you TRUELLY believe in.. and who you are as a MOTHER.
Yup.
YOUR a mother if you've ever raised a child, OR gave birth.
You never got to see them walk... Some moms of living children never experience that.. their children are bound to wheel chairs.
You never got a graphic that said your child can fly??? Why would you even WANT that?
I guess I just don't get why it's so easy to get offended on these tiny matters.
The fact is.. we all STRUGGLE daily with our children. We second guess every move we make/made, and we all want the BEST for our children.. living or not. What Angel mom doesn't lie awake at night dreaming and hoping their angel is safe and loved and happy.. and What living child mom doesn't lie awake wondering how to make their children feel that way each and every day?!
We are all moms.

*We.. as moms.. should pray daily that all children of this world and heaven are given the love, support, and the things they NEED to live... and that isn't a "worldy" live.. but to TRUELY live. To trust god, know god, love god.. to know what Family and Love is... to know hope, and patience, kindess.. compassion... and to give to others more than to recieve. We should pray our angels watch us daily... and that our children challenge us... we should pray that in the midst of tragedy, we can be the strength and the beacon for those who wander... instead of tearing down those who just.. cannot fathom our lives.

So i guess the only debate is.. are boys easier to raise than girls?
The world may NEVER know!