Picture Frames, and details

Sunday, we were preparing for our family to visit (Hubbys dad, step mom, and aunt) As if I didn't have enough to do, hubby decided that we needed to put photo's back up. We had taken them down when we lost another member of our family, due to reasons we honestly can't understand... pure selfishness. THAT could be an entire blog all in itself. I have to give a special thanks to Walgreens.com, because I didn't have to sit with CD's, scandisks?? (yes.. you techies can laugh at my lack of knowledge) and my phone trying to upload photos of my precious daughter, choose the ones I wanted and sizes I needed in a store. I'm pretty certain I would have scared the poor 18 year old undergrad working behind the counter with my tear filled eyes asking "how do i....ccccc... crop this??"

Well, We put photos up. Maternity photos are the only full family photos we have, so we have those, photos of the boys, and photos of Soph. I didn't really understand why hubby wanted to do this.. I look on my phone and there she is.. I check facebook.. there she is.. Hubby doesn't facebook... he doesn't have photos of her on his phone.. I think he really needed her face around.

Brice

Sophia

The hardest part of this process for me was when I did one 4 sectioned frame, and placed a photo of our youngest, Brice, when he was tiny, next to a photo of Sophia. Two hours, just isn't enough time to soak in all the details. I thank god for those photos. Sophia has my nose.. poor girl. Brice has hubbys. They both have his eyes, which I knew right away looking at her.. but the nose, completely threw me off. Her lips were mine. Her hair was red, and I imagine her eyes were blue, but would have turned Hazel, either dark like mine, or light like hubbys. I remember when I was holding her tiny right hand, she had a reflex where if I moved it down and up with my Index finger in her palm, her tiny hand would grasp onto my finger. Her tiny purple nails were long, her face has battle scars from them.. she always kept her hands by her face for ultrasounds, and we never got a clear shot of her tiny face... I thank god I was able to kiss her.

Our house is filled with her now, and though I plan on adding more now that i realize the importance of it, I can honestly say it helps. It helps to see her face, and to know that she is Okay. It's still so difficult to seperate the idea of her bodily being not being her... and realizing her spirit isn't gone forever... that she is waiting for us, and always with us. Her memory box is now so full, that I cannot close it. I don't know that I want to now.  A replica outfit two ladies hunted down for me, the one she wore, or still wears, is right on top, along with a finger doll that has red hair and the same face that she had, that my aunt bought for her while i was still pregnant. It's amazing what having reminders of her can do for me perspective wise.

I can't stop smiling at her face, and it is the most amazing thing ever. <3